Matthew 18 15-20: A BROTHER WHO SINS AGAINST YOUJesus in this passage gives the best of advice - advice which if followed would greatly reduce the amount of trouble in the church. Christians claim to follow Jesus, they sing hymns about obeying him and yet his advice on how to deal with a fellow believer who upsets them is invariably ignored. (A) It's good to talk. There are three reasons why we should talk to a fellow Christian who we feel has wronged us: (a) It will clear up any misunderstandings. Quite often someone will upset us quite unintentionally. I can remember an occasion when I was teaching that I greatly upset a fellow Christian member of staff. As I walked past him in the common room I reached out my hand and patted him on the head. This prompted me to say in a light-hearted fashion, "Well, John, I've discovered your guilty secret!" Next day John dragged me into an empty classroom and berated me for behaviour unbecoming to a Christian. He thought I was drawing attention to his wig which he wore to hide a birth mark. I eventually managed to tell him that I was not aware that he wore a wig. When I patted his hair it was set firmly and I thought he was using hair lacquer. If John had brooded on the perceived insult and said nothing I would not have been able to clear up the misunderstanding. (b) It provides an opportunity to express regret for what has been said or done. Sometimes we are unaware of the sensitivities of a brother or sister. During my playing days with Brockley Cricket Club I used to give a speech at the annual dinner. This usually involved poking gentle fun at the failings and foibles of my fellow cricketers. On one occasion I got a laugh or two at the expense of our prolific opening batsman. Two days later I got a letter from his wife saying how hurt her husband had been at my remarks. My intention had been to embarrass him a little - not to hurt him and so I was glad of the opportunity to pour oil on troubled waters. My stock with husband and wife went up!! (c) The alternatives are much worse:
(B) What are friends for . The advantages of a second approach with two or three others: (a) A Christian who is prepared to involve others in a dispute they have with a fellow Christian is showing how seriously they are taking the matter. A little group of Christians is harder to brush off than a solitary complainant. (b) The two or three observers will not be so emotionally involved as the two who are in dispute. They are neither the ones who have been sinned against nor are they the ones who are accused of sinning. They are likely to take a more detached view and as such are better able to exercise sound judgment. The observers should be able to express their opinion calmly and promote reconciliation. (c) The friends of the injured party will be able to act as witnesses to the attitudes of the disputants. They should be able to ensure the person who feels hard done by gets a fair hearing. I can remember going to see a couple who would not stop to communion when one of the servers was a woman. I went with my fellow elder Edward. He was inclined to see the behaviour of the couple as an insult to the lady server. However, I realised that they had nothing against the lady personally but disagreed with the church's policy of appointing women to the diaconate. This allowed me to partially defuse the situation. (C) As a last resort. Where a couple are unable to resolve a dispute - even with the help of observers - the matter should be brought before the whole church. (a) In this respect Paul differs somewhat from his Master, Jesus. In 1 Cor6 1-11, the apostle condemns those Christians who use the secular law courts to settle disputes with a fellow Christian. Paul tells the Corinthians that it is a very easy matter to settle disputes of this nature. He advises them to appoint a panel of men of limited ability to deal with such simple matters. (This actually is the policy when selecting members of a jury!) I can remember an incident when a young Christian man took it upon himself to remove a series of pictures of Bible scenes, including some of Jesus during his earthly ministry, from the Sunday school room of the church. He was opposed to such pictures being displayed. It was an easy matter to deal with. A group representing the church should have asked the young man to return the pictures - which were not his property. He could then make his case for their removal before the whole church who would decide whether to restore them to their old position or dispose of them. This is not what happened! The church secretary permitted the young man to address the church before returning the pictures. The meeting did not last long! An elderly deacon stood up and said, "If those pictures are not returned by tomorrow I will report you to the police." That was the end of the meeting; the pictures reappeared and the young protestor disappeared! (b) The church should be motivated by love when dealing with trouble between Christians.
(c) The church needs to be aware of the message it gives to the world. It is a dreadful witness when Christians in dispute take their case to the secular court. Paul tells the Corinthians that in doing this: You have been completely defeated already. 1Cor6v7. A lady who was a member of our church kept four or five dogs. An elderly couple who attended our services lived next door to Mary and her dogs. When Mary was at work the dogs barked incessantly and nearly drove the elderly couple crazy. They contacted their solicitor who informed the local authority. .... Why didn't they ask the church to arbitrate? It was the last thing they thought to do! (D) Respect for the church. God gives the church the authority to bind a man; that is to hold him responsible for his actions and to loose a man; that is to set him free from censure and condemnation if he genuinely repents of his failings. Jesus said that a person who refused to accept the verdict of the church should be treated like a pagan or tax collector - or, in other words, excluded from the fellowship. (Pagans and tax collectors were banned from the synagogue.) Paul told the church at Corinth to exercise this sort of authority over a young man having sex with his step mother. He was excluded from the church. See 1Cor5v1to5. However, his exclusion was not permanent. It is likely that the sinner repented. Paul wrote: The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 2Cor2v7to11. (E) A sweetening influence. The passage we are studying highlights the importance of Christians meeting, praying and agreeing together. (a) Christians need to learn from experience. They should accept that when they get together to pray for: a person's healing, a child for a childless couple, a husband for a single woman or even the conversion of a friend, such prayers are rarely answered. William Barclay is right when he says: There is no point in refusing to face the facts of the situation, and nothing but harm can result from teaching people to expect what does not happen. It is certainly wrong for Christians to gang up against God in an attempt to pressurise Him into healing a sick friend, relative or fellow believer. That is what special prayer meetings for healing often amount to. (b) We need to pray in the will of God. William Barclay has some very helpful observations on this. He writes in his commentary on Matthew: Most of our prayers are prayers of escape. We pray to be spared some trial, some sorrow, some disappointment, some hurtful and difficult situation. And always God's answer is not the offer of escape, but of victory. .... He enables us to accept what we cannot understand; he enables us endure what without him would be unendurable; he enables us to face what without Him would be beyond all facing; he gives us the wisdom to deal with things which without Him we could not possess. Paul prayed that God would remove his thorn in the flesh. His prayer was answered! God told him that His grace would be sufficient for him. After my mother died I took responsibility for looking after my father who was in the final stages of Parkinson's disease. I prayed over and over again that he would not succumb to dementia. It was something I hoped to escape. But I also prayed that if my father did become demented I would be able to cope. God answered my second prayer! I think that any group of Christians that meets together to pray for a brother or sister facing, or experiencing, an ordeal will be in agreement over praying for victory. God will answer their prayers - as he answered my prayers and the prayers of Paul. (c) We need to pray knowing that Jesus is present:
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