(A) Introduction. (Read the reference)

In this chapter Paul begins to answer questions raised by the Christians in Corinth. They are not easy questions and Paul would probably have preferred not to answer those on sex! I have never heard a sermon on Corinthians 7 in my church! My brother Paul, formerly a Baptist minister in Clapham, London, has lots of queries about sex from new converts. The apostle Paul's response to the issues raised by the Corinthians was coloured by his belief in the imminent return of Jesus. He would probably not have been so insistent that it was preferable to remain unmarried if he had known that 2000 years later Jesus still had yet to return.

(B) Sex in marriage. Verses1to5.

Paul was asked: "Is it good for a man not to touch?" 'To touch' was probably an euphemism for sexual intercourse. There are many such today! We can tell from Paul's reply that this was the question he was asked.

It appears that the Christians in Corinth held very different views on sex. Some believed that it was alright to use prostitutes while at the other extreme were those who considered sex within marriage was carnal and unspiritual. Paul's reply to this ultra fastidious faction:

(1) Was bluntly realistic.

He wrote: But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. v3.

Paul could have employed many good arguments for sex within marriage such as: it was necessary for procreation or it was the highest expression of love; instead, he warned that in the moral climate in which the Corinthians lived it was wrong to expose themselves to temptation. If bodily contact was taboo then it was likely that either the husband or wife would feel frustrated and look elsewhere for satisfaction.

We, just like the Corinthians, live in a sexually permissive age. Sadly, Christians denied affection and sexual intercourse by their partners will be tempted to look for it elsewhere. It is foolish to deny sex to your husband or your wife. This can happen for a variety of reasons: out of spite, to punish a partner or in the mistaken belief that it is somehow shameful. My grandfather - Josiah Hughes - a Grace Baptist pastor - began to get too friendly with a young church member towards the end of his ministry because his wife gave him very little affection. Death intervened and saved my grandfather from a developing scandal.

(2) Appealed to God's intention.

It is God's intention that a married couple should become one. Paul realised that if this is true then: The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. v4.

The husband and wife have rights to each others bodies. They have equal rights. It is not a case of the man taking and the woman giving or submitting. In practice both should give their bodies to please the other. Dr. Ed Young, a long time Baptist Pastor says this, "The ideal marriage is not give and take. It is give and give."

(3) Acknowledged that abstinence should be by mutual consent.

This week I watched an interesting program on TV about Japanese wives who suffer from 'Retiring Husband Syndrome'. Traditional Japanese wives in their mid sixties get physically ill at the thought of having their husbands at home all day. Their married life has been one of non-communication - of living in isolation - and the prospect of change is daunting.

Paul expects husbands and wives to communicate. Abstinence from sex must be discussed and mutually agreed. There should be a good reason for abstinence: Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. v5.

Paul obviously considers it a good thing for husband and wife to pray together. I read in one of my commentaries that husbands find this especially difficult. It may be because the husband is unwillingly to confess his sins, fears and total dependence upon Jesus for salvation in front of his wife.

So, it is entirely appropriate for husband and wife to abstain from sex for special seasons of prayer or service. Sometimes a husband or wife needs to leave their spouse to work at a Christian camp, beach mission or some other form of outreach.

However, abstinence should not be for too long. Once again Paul told the Corinthians to minimise temptation: Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control. v5. It is very unwise for a husband to neglect his wife for any length of time. This happened inevitably during the World Wars and it was a time that several wives proved unfaithful to their husbands.

I can remember a friend of mine, Mrs P., telling me, "I quickly realised after I got married that I had a very good husband. I made up my mind I would do everything I could to keep him." That is good advice to both wife and husband: don't take marriage for granted - do all you can to maintain unity and the bond of love.

Singleness: a better option? Verses6to9, 25to28, 32to35 38to40.

Paul makes three points about singleness:

(1) It is a gift from God.
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. v7.

Single people should not necessarily be pitied. Paul considered the ability to live alone as much of a gift as prophesy, tongues and healing. Verses32to35 convey some advantages of singleness to a servant of Jesus like Paul:

(a) An unmarried man is free from distraction. He does not have to please his wife or family. The single Christian can give undivided attention to the Lord's work.

(b) The unmarried man is not inhibited by family considerations. He can focus single-mindedly on pleasing Jesus - devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.

(2) There are times that it is best to be unmarried.
Paul wrote: Because of the present circumstances, I think it is good for you to remain as you are. v26. But those that marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. v28.

There are at least three circumstances when it may be best to have no dependents:

(a) If your calling is incompatible with caring for a wife and children. If a man or a woman is totally devoted to some duty they will have very little time for a family. This was true of an evangelist like Paul and probably Wesley. It is also true for pioneer missionaries and for some engaged in charity work and in the caring professions. When I cared for my father I was glad to be single so that I could devote all my time to providing the high level of supervision that he needed.

(b) If your calling is going to put your spouse and children in danger. It is best not to marry in periods of intense persecution. I was distressed to read about the fate of the wives and children of imprisoned leaders of the house church movement in China. The jailed activists were at least fed whereas their families had to scavenge for food. No-one dared help them for fear of being arrested for aiding and abetting the wife and children of known criminals.

(c) In times of crisis. Paul wrote: Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. v26.

It is thought that at about the time Paul communicated with the Corinthians there was widespread famine in the Mediterranean provinces. It was not a propitious time to marry and start a family nor are periods of war, chronic civil unrest and economic depression.

It is foolish to be unmarried from choice if you are going to be tormented by sexual desire. This has led some Roman Catholic priests into immorality through the years - gratifying their urges with mistresses or housekeepers.

In our culture where people marry for love there are, of course, lots of men and women who are not single from choice. I was talking to Hannah only last Sunday about this problem. She attends a church where there are about 15 young women all looking for husbands. Some have never even been on a date! This is a big problem for Christians in Britain and not one Paul addressed. In his day most marriages were arranged and romantic love did not necessarily come into it. I wonder how Paul would deal with the modern problem of singleness. I think he might advise us to be less fussy in our choice of partners. I am sure that he would not give the advice of one American pastor whose sermons I have been reading, to wait for the perfect partner that God has for you. Paul had more realism than that! The apostle would certainly be appalled at the unwillingness of young Christians in the West to commit.

(D) Divorce. Verses10to16 and 39.

Divorce was invariably proceeded with so that the parties to it could remarry. Paul gave the Corinthians:

(1) A reminder.
Paul reminded the Christians at Corinth of Jesus' teaching on divorce, namely, it shouldn't happen. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. v10and11. See also: Mt5v31, Mt19v1to9 and Lk16v18.

It is clear from the teaching of Jesus that God wishes married Christians to remain together. If a husband and wife cannot get on they should do everything possible to be reconciled. Failing this they should separate and remain unmarried.

I knew a genuinely Christian married couple that could not get on because the husband was so excruciatingly boring and always right. I would have found it very, very difficult to live with the husband! How could he change if he was always right? How could husband and wife be reconciled? So they separated - but neither remarried. In this the Scripture was obeyed.

(2) A new teaching.
Some new converts to Christianity were dissatisfied with an unbelieving spouse. It was unsatisfactory all round. A believing wife found herself with an husband with no interest in what she held most dear. She had a helpmeet unable to understand her new life in Christ, who had no comprehension of spiritual things and whose pagan practices were offensive. Things were not ideal for the pagan husband. Suddenly the woman he married changed. She had a new allegiance, new priorities and new friends. What was, perhaps, worst of all: his wife had a new man in her life. She was no longer the woman he married.

What Paul teaches is surprising but very wise:

(a) If an unbeliever wants to remain married to a believer the Christian must accept this. If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. v12.

(b) Paul counters the argument that an unbeliever will pollute a believing partner by saying the reverse is the case - the pagan husband is sanctified by his Christian wife. He reinforces his claim by asserting that children in a mixed marriage are not unclean but holy - sanctified by the believing spouse.

What does Paul mean? He cannot be saying that the husband and children of a believing wife are Christians. You cannot become a Christian by association. There is only one way to salvation and eternal life and that is by believing on Jesus yourself.

Paul signifies that a Christian wife will influence her husband and children through her prayers, behaviour and character. If a man truly loves his Christian wife he will try and please her by attending church sometimes, helping the church in practical ways, being on good terms with her Christian friends and modifying his behaviour. He will be different from non Christian men with an unbelieving wife.

In the same way children brought up in a home where only one parent is a Christian will be taught about Jesus, enrolled in Sunday school and exposed to a high standard of morality. They will be different from children raised by pagans. Many years ago I taught in a school that contained a lot of difficult pupils. They came off the London overspill estates where very few of the families were Christian. Now and again I came across a lad who was different from the majority. Such a one was Andy. He was always friendly, cheerful and co-operative. Today, he holds a very responsible position with the Suffolk Constabulary. A few weeks ago I spoke at a woman's meeting on the estate Andy came from. Afterwards his mother introduced herself to me. She is a staunch old Methodist lady and therein lies the secret of Andy's behaviour at school and his later success in life.

(c) There are grounds for divorce. Jesus taught that there was at least one justification for divorce - sexual immorality such as adultery. "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress." Mt5v32.

Paul gave the Corinthians another ground for divorce, namely, desertion. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances. v15.

I believe that cruelty is also a good reason for divorce. It is totally wrong to expect a woman to remain in an abusive relationship with a drunken husband who knocks her about. Further it is unacceptable to punish the woman for her husband's brutality by arguing that she should not remarry.

(d) Christians should only marry fellow believers. Paul deals with this in the section of the chapter where he informed widows that they were free to marry again. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. v39. This is unequivocal and easy to understand. Many Christians have made spiritual shipwreck because they have wilfully ignored Paul's sound advice on this subject.