Heb13v1to3 LOVE IN PRACTICE

(A) Introduction

Like many of the other epistles this letter ends with a series of exhortations to live as Christians should. We have a checklist that can be used to overhaul our lives. The practical advice of Paul, for example, allows us to fine tune our Christian profession.

(B) Keep loving each other as brothers.

The writer makes this plea because Christians do stop loving each other as brothers. They do so for many different reasons. I will just deal with three:

    (a) Over differences of opinion.
    Many Christians will not have fellowship with those with whom they differ doctrinally. I belong to an Association that actually makes fellowship conditional upon total commitment to a set of man made doctrines. Some of the leaders of that Association would put Christians out of membership of their churches who cannot subscribe to the doctrines of unconditional election and particular redemption. These doctrines are based on interpretations of Scripture. Other Christians come to different conclusions - also based on interpretations of Scripture. Membership of a church should depend upon commitment to Jesus. Eternal life will be given to those who believe in him - not a set of doctrines. As Christians we should love all those who share our belief in and commitment to Jesus. How can we love our fellow believers if we are not to have fellowship with them? What sort of love is it that excludes them from membership over differences of opinion about, for example, the final fate of the unrepentant wicked.

    There are differences in religious practice that produce what can only be described as hatred. It is beyond belief that Christians should fall out and have bitter rows over what version of the Bible to use or what hymn book to sing from. There are churches that would black list preachers who use the NIV. I would always use, as a visiting speaker, the pulpit bible for the public reading as that is likely to be the version the people in the pew have with them. However it is hardly a hanging offence for the speaker to read from a different version. We had a little skirmish in my church about how the chairs should be arranged for the prayer meeting. One group wanted them in a circle and the other group insisted they should be in formal rows. If the 'formal rows' group got to the prayer meeting first and found the chairs in a circle they immediately set about rearranging them. I have to say that this disagreement did not result in hatred because one side gave in gracefully!

    Christians fall out over what they consider to be appropriate behaviour. When I was a boy I used to play hide and seek with my brothers and friends in the chapel graveyard. My father was the pastor and we lived right next to the chapel. Our behaviour was brought up in a church meeting - and did that make my mother mad! Now I have to say that I think our behaviour was inappropriate because people have strong views about their loved one's graves. However if the complainants had loved my parents more they would first have approached them privately as Jesus instructed. Matthew18v15to17. Instead they were humiliated before the church. During my brother's pastorate in London his young children used to let off steam at the end of the service. They would be rather rowdy and chase each other up and down the aisles. Now again I think their behaviour was inappropriate. One lady left the church over the issue. She did so without talking to my brother about it. He wasn't given the opportunity to remedy the problem. This again shows lack of love. A great deal of trouble is caused because Christians do not take seriously Jesus teaching about the brother who sins against you. They stop loving that brother and give in to the spirit of retaliation.

    Finally Christians can stop loving one another over differences in policy and personalities. Paul and Barnabas had a sharp disagreement over John Mark. Acts15v39. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. I had the misfortune once to go and speak at a church in London that had just failed to get the requisite majority to call a man to the pastorate. The minority who had voted against the man were in the doghouse. Several of the majority were talking about leaving and there was much unhappiness. No attempt was made to understand the minority view. Christians had stopped loving one another. Another church meeting was held, another vote taken and the man was called. It was a disaster - he lasted 18 months. He wasn't up to the job. Some of the first to leave were amongst those who had agitated so strongly to call him in the first place. A leader's personality may jar, we may disagree with some of his policies, we are permitted to express our disapproval to his face but we are not allowed to stop loving him. Love is the most excellent way. 1Cor12v31.

    (b) Because of pride and jealousy.
    It is very difficult not to feel piqued when we consider that we have been undervalued. It can be a very severe blow to be rejected. I can remember asking a former Headmistress if I could apply for the Head of Humanities post in her school. Her reply was like a slap in the face, "We want somebody of standing for a job like that." It is easy to hate those who put us down. It happens in churches. I know a church where a man was twice proposed for the diaconate and on each occasion failed to get elected. He was very bitter, so was his wife and a lot of strife ensued. We are urged to keep loving our Christian brothers - even when their opinion of our abilities does not coincide with our own. It is desperately hard - but love suffers long!

    A lot of ill will exists in churches where the leadership is seen to make more fuss of some than others. I am afraid that there is a tendency for middle-aged men to pay more attention to attractive young women than crusty old bachelors. If you are a pastor or elder it is a lot easier to visit those you like than those you dislike. Now if you are among that number the pastor does not especially like and rarely visits it is all too easy to start muttering and murmuring. It is understandable; pastors should be even handed and avoid favouritism. However it does not show love to instigate a whispering campaign or to establish a faction opposed to the leadership. It would be better by far to have a word with the pastor and tell him how you feel. We have to love even those who overlook us and for whom we do not count.

    There have been many instances of senior pastors falling out with their younger assistants as the younger man's popularity grows. Saul could not cope with the song of the Jewish women: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands." Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. ...... And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 1Sam18v7to9. Saul's jealousy maddened him and from then on David's life was always at risk. Jealousy is an awful destructive sin. We are not all the same and whereas I hate being put down I have never been troubled much by jealousy. A few years ago a charming and very good- looking young man joined my department. An elderly female colleague who undoubtedly fancied my youthful assistant asked me, "What does it feel like, John, to have someone so very attractive and popular in your department." Well I wasn't jealous! I was fond of my fellow Geographer and we worked harmoniously together. It helps to have some wisdom and to realise that children value other things besides sexy good looks. We cannot love a Christian brother or sister if we are jealous of them. I have known Christians get jealous if their spouse admires and values someone else in the fellowship. It is a sin that needs to be dealt with. Love seeketh not its own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. 1Cor13v5. AV.

    (c) Because of perceived imperfections.

    I have a theory that churches prefer appointing someone that they do not really know to the pastorate rather than someone they know very well because for a little while they can idolise the new man blissfully unaware of his weaknesses. And of course he is ignorant of theirs. When it becomes all too obvious that the pastor is by no means perfect dissatisfaction and, maybe, even disillusion kicks in. We should be prepared to discover weaknesses and faults in our Christian brothers insofar as we have so many of our own. I reckon most believers are nearly as flawed as I am and so will need a lot of forgiveness. I can remember a former pastor saying of a new member of our church, "Jim doesn't have a weakness." For a while Jim had no obvious weakness. He was placid, kind, affable, friendly, good humoured.... But he had his failings. He could not: Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 2Tim2v3. Some weaknesses are easy to spot. We had an Irishman in membership with us who, when he got stirred up, used very colourful language. It was an obvious weakness and because of it he was held in contempt by some. Yet those people might be the sort to take sides. In other words they do not decide the rights and wrongs of a case but take the side of the people they like. This is a failing that is much harder to detect but on the whole it causes more mischief than a few swear words said in the heat of the moment.

    We must remember our own imperfections before rushing to judge others. Jesus warned us of criticising a brother for the speck in his eye when the plank in our own distorts our judgement. I think we all have a tendency to see in others the faults we don't have and to overlook the virtues that they have and we lack. Love keeps no record of wrongs. 1Cor13v5. Christians have ever before them the example of their Father in heaven: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were sinners, Christ died for us. Rom5v8. If God can love us in full knowledge of all our sins we should be able to love one another. We don't know the half!

    (d) Because of misunderstandings
    When I was a young man one of my less endearing traits was a tendency to 'take the Mickey'. One afternoon at the end of school and still feeling frisky I placed my hand on the head of a young colleague. His hair felt very unyielding. I called out gaily, "I've discovered someone's secret." If looks could kill I would have died on the spot. Next day my offended colleague pounced while I was doing a bit of duplicating, "Call yourself a Christian - you're just downright malicious. If you must know I wear this wig because I have an unsightly birthmark." Now I didn't realise he was wearing a wig. I thought he was using hair lacquer. I eventually managed to convince my friend and fellow Christian that this was, indeed, the case and he calmed down. I am glad that he spoke out because it allowed me to correct a misapprehension. I don't think he would have loved me for a long time if he had brooded upon what seemed to him a very malevolent remark.

    A lot of Christians get the wrong end of the stick. They listen to garbled accounts of what others have said about them - passed on by known mischief-makers. They think that if a person overlooks them it is because they are disliked. The explanation could be quite different - the person might be preoccupied, worried, in low spirits or just plain tired. Christians who are not used to the cut and thrust of debate often suspect those who disagree with them in a church meeting of having it in for them personally. If a brother or sister in Christ upsets us it is best to have it out with them. This is so much better than to stop loving them.

All Christians need to be loved. Even Jesus was heartened by love - as when Mary anointed him with precious perfume. He was disappointed in the Garden of Gethsemane that his disciples could not watch with him one hour. There are times when we need help, a kindness, reassurance and appreciation. A very awkward and cantankerous man attended our church on and off for years. He was not an unkind man but a very thoughtless one. He was very insensitive. When he got into a muddle he sent for one of our elders, Edward, who usually succeeded in helping him out. When Jack wasn't in a muddle he could belittle Edward. He reckoned he was the better man. Sometimes Edward's patience was strained and he would say, "I don't ever want to see him again." However he always did. I can't say he got a lot of thanks for his efforts. Jack wasn't much given to gratitude. Edward loved Jack to the end. When Jack died it was Edward who took charge of the funeral arrangements and cleared out his flat. Love suffers long and is kind.

(C) Show hospitality to strangers.

There are a variety of ways we can do this. Sometimes we have a visiting speaker on Sunday who is unknown to us. He will require entertaining for the day. We sometimes have a funeral service at our church to which people have travelled from afar. It is hospitable to provide some refreshment. I always go to church when I am on holiday. I am then a stranger in the place of worship I attend. I have to say that the only church that has ever showed me hospitality was a Grace Baptist one. I have been to several Anglican services but no one has ever invited me back for supper. I don't suppose it is a very appealing prospect - most church goers would console themselves that they were most unlikely to have missed out on entertaining an angel unawares!

So why are Christians reluctant to show hospitality to strangers:

    (a) It is costly.
    Abraham sets us a good example of hospitality. We can read in Genesis18v1to8 of the meal Abraham prepared the three strangers he encountered near the great trees of Mamre. Loaves were made from fine flour, a choice tender calf was selected for the roast, and curds and milk provided for liquid refreshment. Only the best would do.

    It is expensive to entertain. The Good Samaritan paid the hotel charges for the man he rescued on the Jericho road - two silver coins worth about £200. Love isn't cheap.

    (b) It is not always convenient.
    In these days when husbands and wives are both at work and work seems more demanding than ever freedom is at a premium. To show hospitality puts restraints on your freedom. If you are entertaining strangers you are unable to do exactly as you please. I got very weary as a schoolteacher during my fifties. My church responsibilities were an additional burden. All I really wanted to do on Sunday afternoons was sleep in my armchair. It was not easy to entertain the visiting speaker. I had to give the house a special clean, cook as nice a meal as I could and chat amiably all afternoon. Christians who attend church once on a Sunday and spend the rest of the day pleasuring are not the first to volunteer to entertain a visiting speaker.

    The Good Samaritan probably lost a day because he took care of and provided for the man who fell foul of the thieves. It was very inconvenient and troublesome. The man he helped would, however, never, ever, forget it. To show hospitality is a lovely thing. Before I went to University I taught for a year at Beyton Secondary Modern School. I had no transport and had to rely on the local bus service to get to and from work. So I couldn't attend special evening functions like the school play unless someone put me up overnight. I can remember the PE teacher and senior master, Desmond Manning, inviting me to his home, giving me tea, taking me to the play, providing a bed and making me breakfast. He made me feel welcome in his home. Des was a charming, loveable, man and I remember his hospitality with gratitude. There are many things we do that we expect people to remember - but they forget. People do not forget the hospitality of a kind and generous host.

    (c) They feel inadequate
    Some folk do not entertain because their homes are small and their furniture is shabby. Others are reluctant because they are not very good at it. I think this is a pity because the most important thing is to make a person welcome. If someone is right glad to entertain you it doesn't really matter if they serve up humble fare. I used to go and preach at a small village chapel in Suffolk where the secretary was the local clock and watch repairer. Sunday lunch was always the same: cold beef, boiled potatoes, red beet and homemade pickles - nothing very elaborate although the pickle was excellent. What made those meals memorable was that Mr and Mrs Lovick, both now in glory, were so pleased to have me. It was a humble home, they were humble folk, but the fellowship was delightful.

It is very important to show hospitality because:

    (a) It is a good witness
    It can be a telling witness to non-Christians. I was quite friendly as a boy with Smicker Smith, the son of Mr Grover's cowman. He was an only child. One year his parents went on holiday and asked my mother, who had four sons, if she minded looking after him for a week. So he joined us for seven days one June. It was an experience he never forgot. He was particularly taken with my mother. She must have been in high spirits that week! It wasn't long before the Smiths moved out of the village. Smicker sent my mother a Christmas card in memory of her hospitality every year until her death. It was the card she enjoyed receiving more than any other.

    (b) It is a real and lasting blessing to the recipient.
    As I have indicated above generous, loving, thoughtful, hospitality is recollected with pleasure. I think anything we recall with thankfulness is a grace. Just as bitter, resentful, memories sour and blight us so happy, fragrant, recollections are wholesome and sweetening. Once again I think back to my boyhood when Mr Goad ran a Christian tent mission in the neighbouring village of Rede. He got rather lonely in Rede and would walk the 2 miles to Brockley to see my mother. He came every day and joined us for meals. He even came with my brothers, assorted friends and I on our customary Sunday afternoon ramble. Whenever he met with my parents in the future he would always talk about that week. He thought it was wonderful to be accepted into a loving Christian family. It did him good to remember it.

    (c) The one who shows hospitality is often blessed.
    It is doubtful that we shall be as blessed as the kind woman of Shunem of whom we read in 2Kings4v8to36. Her hospitality to Elisha was rewarded with a son in her husband's old age. It is unlikely that we shall have the same wonderful experience as the two on the road to Emmaus who urged the stranger who had been talking to them: "Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over". Luke24v29 We know that Cleopas and his companion had the inestimable privilege of entertaining the risen Christ. We are more likely to be blessed with edifying, helpful, conversation, perhaps, with a new friend, gratitude and appreciation.

(D) Remember those in trouble. Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow-prisoners; and those who are ill-treated as if you yourselves were suffering. Heb13v3.
When Paul wrote to Timothy the second time he was in prison. He writes rather pathetically: Only Luke is with me. 2Tim4v11. At my first defence, no-one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. 2Tim4v16. This reminds us that it is not easy to help people in trouble if:

    (a) This puts us in danger.
    It was getting dangerous to associate with Paul. He was a marked man - soon to die a martyr's death at the hand of Nero. Anyone who stood by Paul at his trial put his own life at risk. That is why nobody stood up for Jesus at his trial. I think the absence of one voice raised in Jesus defence is one of the greatest indictments against humanity. The Good Samaritan increased his chances of getting robbed by stopping on the Jerusalem to Jericho road. It would have been safer to hurry on like the priest and the Levite.

    William Woodruff in his autobiographical book, 'The Road to Nab End', describes his first few days at St.Philip's school in Blackburn during the 1920's:
    'I discovered that my schoolmates were a wild lot. Newcomers were roughed up by bullies who ran in a pack. No sooner had I got into the schoolyard for the morning break than several bullies knocked me down. I expected my brother to defend me. He didn't, although he was quick with his fists. His walking away from me on that occasion coloured my view of him for the rest of my life.'
    William was badly beaten up on his first day at school. Let us take up his account a week later:
    'A week or so later, before my wounds had healed, three bullies grabbed me in the playground again. My earlier terror was renewed. At first I managed to break away, but they recaptured me and dragged me down. At that moment a fury landed in our midst. It was Brenda (his sister). "I'll show you," she shouted, "hurting Billy! Take that... and that.... and that!" Like a wild animal she rained blows upon them until they pleaded for mercy. They got none. ...... no one dreamed of touching me again.'
    William's brother was not prepared to put himself in danger - he walked away. I think it is worth noting that his action assumed lifelong significance for his younger brother. It was a kind of betrayal. His sister on the other hand had courage. She was prepared to defend her own even if it meant receiving a few blows herself. There would not be any bullies if decent folk were brave. I fear interventions of Brenda's sort are getting rarer and rarer as increasingly people put their own well fare first.

    (b)We are liable to be tarred with same brush.
    When the temple guards sent to arrest Jesus returned empty handed the members of the Sanhedrin were very indignant. One of the things they said was: "Has any of the rulers or of the Pharisees believed in him? No!" Nicodemus was present and he did believe in Jesus. All he managed to say was, "Does our law condemn a man without first hearing him to find out what he is doing?" The militant elements on the Sanhedrin soon shut him up by saying: "Are you from Galilee, too? Look into it, and you will find that a prophet does not come out of Galilee." Nicodemus was a secret disciple for fear of the Jews. He did not want to lose his reputation, his friends, or his seat on the Sanhedrin. He was unwilling to be tarred with the same brush as those unsophisticated, rustic, enthusiasts from Galilee. He did not have the courage of his convictions.

    This happens over and over again. I frequently spoke in staff meetings at school in opposition to political correctness, in favour of more consistent and rigorous discipline and against additional work that did not benefit the education of the students. I have to confess that I was always quite belligerent and sometimes unpleasant. Very rarely did a colleague speak in support of the view that I put forward. Yet afterwards several would sidle up and say, "I'm glad you said what you did - I agree with every word you said." They were not prepared, however, to associate with someone senior management would describe as, 'difficult'. In fact my only supporter was a deputy head who would say to the headmaster in private, "If we forget for a moment how Mr Reed put his point - there is always a grain of truth in what he has to say." If you are a dissident you have to be grateful for small mercies!

    I am afraid this unwillingness to stand up and be counted is evident in church affairs. It is clear from these expositions that I do not share all the beliefs of the Association to which I belong. Nor would the church of which I am a member agree with everything that I write. This creates certain concerns particularly in the inner councils of the Association. I can understand this. Well a meeting was called to investigate my doctrinal position. The "invitation" to the meeting was not well put and I felt that my position in my small church was being called into question. I have to say that I was suprised and heartened by the support I received at the meeting from my fellow elder, Edward. He is well known as a peace loving, tender hearted, man who does not like to offend anyone. On this occasion he was willing to give offence in order to express solidarity with his friend of over 50 years standing with whom he has differences of view but with whom he shares the same wholehearted belief in Jesus as Saviour and Lord. Edward's unexpected intervention defused the situation and resulted in a largely conciliatory outcome. There are times a forceful intervention does much good - especially on behalf of another.

    It is too easy to blame someone who has fallen foul of the authorities or the establishment and got into trouble. We say, "Well they asked for it", or, "What did he want to stick his neck out for?" We excuse our inactivity. We feel guilty at our cowardice and angry with the person who has made us feel so bad. So we cast the victim as the villain of the piece in order to feel better about ourselves. The disciples forsook Jesus and fled because he seemed such a loser. In his hours of greatest trouble they were nowhere to be seen. It was left to a dieing thief to speak a few words of comfort to sin's ultimate victim.

    ANY COMMENTS FOR JOHN REED: E-mail jfmreed@talktalk.net

    INDEX NEXT