Heb13v4to6 OUR HELP

(A) Introduction

The few verses under consideration in this study are about supporting one another and the helping hand of God.

(B) Marriage is honourable: husband and wife are helpmeets.

Husband is a very good word. Sadly it is falling into disuse. This is a sign of the times! It is a word still used to describe the work of a farmer who can be commended because of good husbandary. This use of the word may help us to understand the role of an husband. A good husbandman:

    (a) Cares for the soil.
    He keeps the soil sweet by aerating it. Nothing sours a soil quicker than compaction and water logging.

    A husband should keep his wife sweet. Nothing produces sweeter fruit than sunshine. A man can sweeten his wife by appreciation and approval. Encouragement brings admirable qualities to ripeness. When I was a small boy of about ten I spent a week with my grandparents in Ipswich. During the week I slept with my grandfather. Each night before he got into bed he kissed a photograph of his wife. The glass containing the photograph was covered with marks where he had kissed it in the past. I never saw my grandfather kiss his wife. Her life would have been sweeter for a few more kisses.

    The pressure of unrealistic expectations can sour a wife. Nothing is worse than living with someone who seems permanently disappointed and disapproving. It is hard to grow sweet if all our efforts are unrecognised and unrewarded.

    (b) Protects the soil
    A good farmer doesn't exploit and exhaust the soil. He husbands its strength - its depth, fertility and texture.

    A good husband will protect and strengthen his wife. He will give her confidence, nurture and cherish her virtues. He will not exploit his wife's love or take her devotion for granted. A husband should be considerate and not over demanding. A wise farmer does not expect a perfect soil all at once. It has to be looked after and gradually improved over the years by wise management.

    (c) Gets the best from the soil
    The aim of a farmer is to get a bountiful harvest from his soil. He looks forward to it bearing fruit. So it is worth taking a lot of trouble with. The barren fig tree in the vineyard was not cut down until pains had been taken to make it bear fruit. The soil around it was dug up and manured. See Luke 13v6to9.

    It is a Christian husband's responsibility to the get best out of his wife. He should help her to grow. He should take an interest in his wife's good works, support her in them and rejoice in her virtues. I have just finished reading, 'Epitaph for a peach', by David Mas Masumoto. The writer is a peach grower in California. How proud he is of his peaches! He delights in their quality and exults in a good harvest. Here is a brief extract from his book that captures something of the joy of harvest:
    A week earlier the fragrance caught my attention. I stopped to examine peaches from the outside trees, which ripen before the rest of the field because of their extra helping of unfiltered sunlight. I squeeze one with an amber hue. It has a slight give, telling me it is almost ready and that the majority of the field will soon follow. Unable to resist the scent, I pick and bite a crunchy peach. Immediately the taste jumps out and dances on my tongue. This is why I work to save this peach: Sun Crests have flavour!

    This does happen amongst the Christian husbands known to me. A lady attends my church who when she feels that I need some encouragement bakes me a cake. Her husband always delivers the cake and is pleased to do so. He is glad that his wife shows me kindness. Another woman runs the Ladies meeting and again her husband is very supportive. He will go and pick ladies up for the meeting. Ivy is a good visitor. She goes to hospital to see the sick and dying. Her husband always takes her on these errands of mercy and praises her for them. We are much more productive when our best efforts are recognised and appreciated

(C) God is a better helper.

It is a wonderful thing to have a good husband but it is something to know that God his a better helper than the best of husbands. Why is this?

    (a) God's knowledge is unlimited
    The best of husbands has limited wisdom and understanding. Sometimes he may not know how to help his wife. My mother's father, my grandfather Hughes, was a much loved Grace Baptist pastor in Richmond, London. The ladies of his church adored him and made a great fuss of him. My grandmother who was not nearly such an attractive personality tended to be overlooked. Now my grandfather needed to compensate for this and pay his wife a great deal of attention to foster her self esteem. He did not. As a consequence my grandmother was quite often ill. Doctors were frequently in the house with whom my grandmother promptly fell in love. This created in my mother an aversion to doctors that meant I suffered needlessly with asthma long after the development of inhalers that brought relief.

    God does know what is best for us. He has a plan for our spiritual development. If we co-operate with our Divine Trainer we shall make progress to spiritual maturity.

    (b) God is always available. God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Heb13v5.
    God is a very present help in time of trouble. He is always there. Husbands are not always there for their wives. The best of husbands has other preoccupations, responsibilities and allegiances. My old neighbour, Norman, often expressed his regrets that he was away from home for five years during the Second World War when his two children were growing up and his wife most needed him.

    Yes, God is always there. I love verse 6 of the hymn, 'How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord':

    The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
    I will not, I cannot desert to his foes;
    That soul though all hell should endeavour to shake
    I'll never, no never, no never forsake.

    That old hymn is faithful to the Greek of Heb 13v5 in so far as it contains five negatives to emphasise the certainty of God's promise to never leave us. Even when Jesus felt forsaken on the cross - God was still there and at the end the Son was able to say, "Father into your hands I commit my spirit." Luke23v46.

    (b) God is ever gracious.
    The best of husbands is flawed. A husband's moods vary. My moods vary and if I had a wife she would find me very morose, difficult and unapproachable before breakfast. God's mood does not vary! James writes: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. Jms1v17. It is a great comfort to know the constancy of God's love. He is not fickle - blowing hot and cold. He is not like children moving in and out of friendship. I used to find this as a schoolteacher amongst girls especially. One week Hannah and Gemma would be bosom pals ; the next week at daggers drawn. The Psalmist was confident of God's unwavering love and wrote: Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; Psalm23v6.AV. Praise ye the Lord. Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever. Psalm106v1.AV

    God is always available to help and bless his own. I like the story of Joshua's encounter near to Jericho with the shadowy figure whose sword was drawn. "Are you for us or against us?" Joshua asked. The reply came, "Neither..... but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come." Josh5v14. God does come to us in times of crisis. He is not for us or against us but comes to help us carry his purposes out. As I was brooding about my position in my church described in the preceding exposition, see Love in Practice, I was directed to a passage in W. Wiersbe's book on Acts, 'Be Dynamic', where he refers to 1 Cor7v17to24. I found v24: Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to, especially helpful.

(D) The Christian's response.

    (a) We do not need to depend upon money for our present or future well being. v5 Keep your lives free from the love of money.
    I would like to make three observations:
      (1) We don't need to be rich if we have a rich and generous friend because that friend will make sure that we never go without. Paul writes to the Philippians: And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. This is a wonderful promise and those who take it seriously have their reward!

      (2) We don't have to be wealthy to serve Jesus. A very well to do lady poured perfume worth £20,000 on Jesus head and feet and that was a lovely act. But the penniless prostitute who washed Christ's feet with her tears and dried those feet with her hair expressed the same level of devotion without spending a penny.

      The biggest gift my parents received during their ministry of nearly forty years was from one of the poorest men they knew. Mr Botwright lived in an old railway carriage in the Suffolk village of Grundisburgh. He was formerly a sailor and used to walk about the village barefoot. He gave my parents, by today's values, £3000, a substantial part of his life's savings. I have never forgotten my mother's joy at this gift and it has motivated me to encourage God's servants in similar, if less generous, fashion.

      (3) We know the best place to have our riches - with the heavenly banker. Jesus said: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Mt6v19to21.

    (b) We shall be content with what we have. And be content with what you have. v5.
    Paul writes in Phil4v12: I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, ..... whether living in plenty or in want. And what was Paul's secret? I can do everything through him who gives me strength. v13.

    It is so easy to become discontented if we think we deserve more. A few months before I was due to retire I phoned up my employer about my pension. I was told that there would be a reduction of 2% per annum because I was retiring 4 months early. I felt very disgruntled because I knew of so many teachers who had retired early without suffering any penalty, indeed, their pensions had been enhanced. Yet, I have enough! Jesus has told us to be content if we have food and clothing. We should not hanker for more! We shall find more time for Jesus if our lifestyle is simple. The more we have, the more distractions there are, the greater the danger of thorns and thistles growing up and stifling the new life within us.

    We can be discontented in plenty! Poor Mr Micawber in Dicken's, 'David Copperfield', was very miserable in want but he had the capacity to rejoice and be glad in plenty. I love the description of Mr Micawber making punch:
    I(David Copperfield) informed Mr.Micawber that I relied upon him for a bowl of punch, and led him to the lemons. His recent despondency, not to say despair, was gone in a moment. I never saw a man so thoroughly enjoy himself amid the fragrance of lemon-peel and sugar, the odour of burning rum, and the steam of boiling water as Mr. Micawber did that afternoon. It was wonderful to see his face shining at us out of a thin cloud of these delicate fumes, as he stirred, and mixed, and tasted, and looked as if he were making, instead of punch, a fortune for his family down to the latest posterity.
    Here is a man enjoying what he has. For the moment he has plenty and is content. The very worst discontent is the discontent of the man or woman with plenty. This is shameless ingratitude, impious thanklessness, and an insult to God for every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father. James1v17.

    (c) We shall be confident. 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.' v6.
    Many are afraid of being unable to cope. We can be afraid of getting old, falling sick, losing a loved one, the responsibilities at work, a difficult person, doing what is going to make us unpopular, caring for a sick relative, a dangerous task..... The list is endless. Fear makes us edgy, tense, jumpy, volatile, inefficient and less able to manage in a challenging situation. As I cared for my father in the terminal stages of Parkinson's disease and his dementia worsened I was afraid that he would get so bad that I could not complete the task I had set myself. If my faith in the God, who will not test us more than we can bear, had been greater I would have finished caring for my father with greater tenderness and less tenseness.

    One of my favourite Old Testament stories is of God appearing to Moses in the burning bush and asking him to go back to Egypt to lead the Israelites out of slavery to the Promised Land. The proposition did not appeal to Moses. He had grave doubts about his ability to do anything on behalf of a people that had once rejected him. He feared that he was not up to the job. God kept telling Moses: "I will be with you". Ex3v12. "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." Ex4v12. I have to say that I admire the temerity of Moses who was prepared to argue the toss with his Maker. In the end he went! God was his helper and as Moses grew into the role God had prepared him for, and called him to, so his confidence increased. The writer of the book of Deuteronomy says at the end of Moses' life: For no-one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.

    With God as our helper we should be a buoyant, confident, people - up to any task He calls us to.

    ANY COMMENTS FOR JOHN REED: E-mail jfmreed@talktalk.net

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